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Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.
-Will Rogers
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For the American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible exception of stupidity.
-Will Rogers
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Lord, the money we do spend on Government and its not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.
-Will Rogers
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There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I dont even have to exaggerate.
-Will Rogers
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We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory.
-Will Rogers
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Youve got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and youve got to be a humorist to stay one.
-Will Rogers
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I am not a member of any organized partyI am a Democrat.
-Will Rogers
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And kid Congress and the Senate, dont scold em. They are just children thats never grown up. They dont like to be corrected in company. Dont send messages to em, send candy.
-Will Rogers
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I originated a remark many years ago that I think has been copied more than any little thing that Ive every said, and I used it in the FOLLIES of 1922. I said America has a unique record. We never lost a war and we never won a conference in our lives. I believe that we could without any degree of egotism, single-handed lick any nation in the world. But we cant confer with Costa Rica and come home with our shirts on.
-Will Rogers
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I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get sore at everybody else. Sometimes it takes two or three conferences to scare up a war, but generally one will do it.
-Will Rogers
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I have no Politics. I am for the Party that is out of Power, no matter which one it is. But I will give you my word that, in case of my appointment, I will not be a Republican; I will do my best to pull with you, and not embarrass you. In fact, my views on European affairs are so in accord with You, Mr. President, that I might almost be suspected of being a Democrat.
-Will Rogers
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When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I dident like. I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.
-Will Rogers
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Here it is, a New Year. We got to make some resolutions, as well as interest and tax payments in this joyful season. It's the start of a New Year of trials and tribulations, and if everybody that does anything gets caught, it will be mostly trials.
-Will Rogers
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Adversity
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The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
-Will Rogers
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Advertising
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One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials.
-Will Rogers
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America
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America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.
-Will Rogers
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Ancestry, Ancestors
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My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.
-Will Rogers
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Banks / Banking
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There is two things that can disrupt business in this country. One is War, and the other is a meeting of the Federal Reserve Bank.
-Will Rogers, April 2, 1929
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See where Congress passed a two billion dollar bill to relieve bankers' mistakes. You can always count on us helping those who have lost part of their fortune, but our whole history records nary a case where the loan was for the man who had absolutely nothing. Our theory is to help only those who can get along, even if they don't get a loan.
-Will Rogers, January 22, 1932
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Belief
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There is no argument in the world that carries the hatred that a relioious belief does. The more learned a man is, the less consideration he has for another man's belief.
-Will Rogers
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Charity
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I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.
-Will Rogers
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Communism
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Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
-Will Rogers
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Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won't work.
-Will Rogers
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Congress
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There should be one day when there is open season on senators.
-Will Rogers
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This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
-Will Rogers
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With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
-Will Rogers
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Debt / Borrow / Loan
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A debt is just as hard for a Government to pay as it is for an individual. No debt ever comes due at a good time. Borrowing is the only thing that seems handy all the time.
-Will Rogers, March 1, 1931
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The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?
-Will Rogers
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Deception/Lying
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There wasn't any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn't a Deliberate Lie, why it was an Exaggerated Falsehood.
-Will Rogers, November 13, 1932
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Diplomacy
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Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are to finishing it. You take Diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
-Will Rogers
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Economics
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An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else s.
-Will Rogers
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The whole financial structure of Wall Street seems to rise or fall on the mere fact that the Federal Reserve Bank raises or lowers the amount of interest. Any business that can't survive a one percent change must be skating on thin ice.
Why even the poor farmer took a raise of another ten percent just to get a loan from the bank, and nobody from the government paid any attention. But you let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help to get them back into bed again.
-Will Rogers, August 12, 1929
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Effort
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Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-Will Rogers
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Fashion
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Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
-Will Rogers
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Film / Filmmaking / Movies
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In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write, but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.
-Will Rogers
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There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.
-Will Rogers
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There is no more interesting place in the world to meet characters than a movie set. If you have lost anybody anywhere and don
-Will Rogers
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Friends
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Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
-Will Rogers
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Gambling (Gaming)
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Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
-Will Rogers
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Gossip
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Live so that you wouldn
-Will Rogers
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The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
-Will Rogers
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Government
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Lobbyists have more offices in Washington than the President. You see, the President only tells Congress what they should do. Lobbyists tell'em what they will do.
-Will Rogers, October 20, 1929
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Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?
-Will Rogers
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
-Will Rogers
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Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
-Will Rogers
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Hardship
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This depression was deep, and you don't climb out of anything as quick as you fall in.
-Will Rogers, December 31, 1933
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Heroes/Heroism
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The main thing about being a hero is to know when to die.
-Will Rogers
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Being a hero is about the shortest lived profession on earth.
-Will Rogers
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We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
-Will Rogers
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History
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There is an awful lot of difference between reading something and actually seeing it, for you can never tell, till you see it, just how big a liar History is.
-Will Rogers
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Don't be misled by History, or any other unreliable source.
-Will Rogers, April 14, 1935
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Horses, Horse Racing
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I've often said there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse.
-Will Rogers
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Humanity
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It's great to be great, but it's greater to be human.
-Will Rogers
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Humor
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Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
-Will Rogers
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There's no trick to being humorous when you have the whole government working for you.
-Will Rogers
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Ideas
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Everything worthwhile is a good idea, but did you ever notice there is more bad ideas that will work than there is good ones?
-Will Rogers
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We have some great ideas, but most of 'em come too late to do us any good.
-Will Rogers
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Ignorance & Stupidity
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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
-Will Rogers
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Everybody is ignorant -- only on different subjects.
-Will Rogers
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Justice
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People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
-Will Rogers
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Last Words
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Lord, let me live until I die.
-Will Rogers
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Law
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We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR Course.
-Will Rogers, February 19, 1935
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The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.
-Will Rogers
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Compared to them I
-Will Rogers, Ambassador of Good Will, Prince of Wit and Wisdom, chapter 9, pp. 156
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Learning
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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence to see for themselves.
-Will Rogers
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Legacy
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There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country, and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs.
-Will Rogers
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When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do -- well, that's Memoirs.
-Will Rogers
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Liberty
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Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
-Will Rogers
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Life
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In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough.
-Will Rogers
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Believe in something for another world, but don't be too set on what it is, and then you won't start out that life with a disappontment. Live your life so that whenever you lose you are ahead.
-Will Rogers
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Love
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I never met a man I didn't like.
-Will Rogers
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Marriage
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It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning that it was someone else.
-Will Rogers
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Memory
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The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
-Will Rogers
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You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.
-Will Rogers
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Military, the
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I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk of old times with old friends is the greatest thing in the world.
-Will Rogers
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News
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All I know is just what I read in the papers.
-Will Rogers
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Nudity
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I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.
-Will Rogers
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Opinion
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Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
-Will Rogers
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A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
-Will Rogers
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Pain
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Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.
-Will Rogers
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Politics
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I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-Will Rogers
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I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
-Will Rogers
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No party is as bad as its leaders.
-Will Rogers
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Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
-Will Rogers
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Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
-Will Rogers
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The more you read and observe about this politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party's worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
-Will Rogers
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
-Will Rogers
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This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation.
-Will Rogers
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The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it.
-Will Rogers
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If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics.
-Will Rogers, July 15, 1923
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Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as jokes.
-Will Rogers
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Praise
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I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
-Will Rogers
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Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
-Will Rogers
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Professionalism
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There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
-Will Rogers
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Progress
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Things will get better -- despite our efforts to improve them.
-Will Rogers
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You can't say that civilization don't advance... for in every war they kill you a new way.
-Will Rogers
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Reading
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A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
-Will Rogers
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Religion
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Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.
-Will Rogers
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Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes anyone think theirs is right?
-Will Rogers
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Revolution
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One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.
-Will Rogers
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Shopping
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Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.
-Will Rogers
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Speeches (oratory)
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Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain't saying anything.
-Will Rogers
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Taxation
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Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.
-Will Rogers
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
-Will Rogers
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The Income Tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
-Will Rogers
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The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.
-Will Rogers
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Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you do not know when it is through if you are a crook or a martyr.
-Will Rogers
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Time
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Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
-Will Rogers
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Virtue
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Mona Lisa is the only beauty who went through history and retained her reputation.
-Will Rogers
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Voting
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Andrew Jackson was the first one to think up the idea to promise everybody that if they will vote for you, you will give them an office when you get it, and the more times they vote for you, the bigger the office.
-Will Rogers
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The Republicans have their splits right after election and Democrats have theirs just before an election.
-Will Rogers
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There isn't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.
-Will Rogers
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Work
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The person with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, How is the president?
-Will Rogers
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Books by and about Will Rogers
