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Atheism
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He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
-Douglas Adams
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People will then often say, But surely it's better to remain an Agnostic just in case?' This, to me, suggests such a level of silliness and muddle that I usually edge out of the conversation rather than get sucked into it. (If it turns out that I've been wrong all along, and there is in fact a god, and if it further turned out that this kind of legalistic, cross-your-fingers-behind-your-back, Clintonian hair-splitting impressed him, then I think I would choose not to worship him anyway.)
-Douglas Adams
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Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
-Douglas Adams
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Cats
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One of the problems of taking things apart and seeing how they work - supposing you're trying to find out how a cat works--you take that cat apart to see how it works, what you've got in your hands is a non-working cat. The cat wasn't a sort of clunky mechanism that was susceptible to our available tools of analysis.
-Douglas Adams
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Challenges
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What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.
-Douglas Adams
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Computers
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The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armor to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second- rate technology, led them into it in the first place.
-Douglas Adams
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Design
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A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
-Douglas Adams
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Disability, Handicaps
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One always overcompensates for disabilities. I'm thinking of having my entire body surgically removed.
-Douglas Adams
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Dreams
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He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
-Douglas Adams
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Enemy, Enemies
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The moment at which two people, approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognize each other and immediately pretend they haven t. This is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognizing each other the whole length of the corridor.
-Douglas Adams
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Flight, Flying
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Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
-Douglas Adams
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Humanity
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In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
-Douglas Adams
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Journeys
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I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
-Douglas Adams
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Learning
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
-Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See
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Life
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Come on, insisted Zaphod, I've found a way in.
In? said Arthur in horror.
Into the interior of the planet! An underground passage. The force of the whale's impact cracked it open, and that's where we have to go. Where no man has trod these five million years, into the very depths of time itself ...
Marvin started his ironical humming again.
Zaphod hit him and he shut up.
With little shudders of disgust they all followed Zaphod down the incline into the crater, trying very hard not to look at its unfortunate creator.
Life, said Marvin dolefully, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
-Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy (ch. 20)
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Life...is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy , and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
-Douglas Adams
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Life is wasted on the living.
-Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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Mankind, Man
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For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much--the wheel, New York, wars and so on--while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man--for precisely the same reasons.
-Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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Mystery
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There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
-Douglas Adams
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Perception
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So, my argument is that as we become more and more scientifically literate, it
http://www.biota.org/people/douglasadams/
-Douglas Adams, speech at Digital Biota 2, Cambridge U.K., September, 1998
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Responsibility
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Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
-Douglas Adams
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Service
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To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.
-Douglas Adams
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Space
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-Douglas Adams, The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe
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Universe, The
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It is known that there is an infinite number of worlds, but that not every one is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite nuber of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so if every planet in the Universe has a populations of zero then the entire population of the Universe must also be zero, and any people you may actually meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.
-Douglas Adams, The Original Hitchhiker Radio Script
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Books by and about Douglas Adams