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(no category)
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No, sir, th dimmycratic party aint on speakin terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an th other hisses Miscreent ye can bet theyre two dimmycratic leaders thryin to reunite th gran ol party.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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Alcohol/Alcoholism
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Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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Conflict
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Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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Deception/Lying
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A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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Education
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It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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Fanaticism
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A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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Media
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Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th'ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflicts th' comfortable, buries th' dead an' roasts thim aftherward.
-Finley Peter Dunne, "Mr. Dooley's Opinions", 1900
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Men
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The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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Men & Women
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A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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Motivational
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Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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Past, the
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The past always looks better than it was because it isn't here.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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Poverty
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One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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Trust
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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Vegetarian
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Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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Virtue
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Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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World
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The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is just turning around as usual.
-Finley Peter Dunne
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