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Deception/Lying
Engrave this Quote The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote Lying is not only excusable; it is not only innocent; it is, above all, necessary and unavoidable. Without the ameliorations that it offers, life would become a mere syllogism and hence too metallic to be borne.
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-H. L. Mencken
Democracy
Engrave this Quote The cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote Democracy is the theory that the common people know what They want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote Democracy is also a form of religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.
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-H. L. Mencken
Divorce
Engrave this Quote Alimony -- the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
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-H. L. Mencken
Dogs
Engrave this Quote The Belief that man is outfitted with an immortal soul, differing altogether from the engines which operate the lower animals, is ridiculously unjust to them. The difference between the smartest dog and the stupidest man
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-H. L. Mencken
Doubt
Engrave this Quote Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.
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-H. L. Mencken
Eccentric, Eccentricity
Engrave this Quote The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.
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-H. L. Mencken
Education
Engrave this Quote The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all: it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote And what is a good citizen? Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual. Schools are maintained in order to bring this uniformity up to the highest possible point. A school is a hopper into which children are heaved while they are still young and tender; therein they are pressed into certain standard shapes and covered from head to heels with official rubber-stamps.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote School-days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of dull, unintelligible tasks, new and unpleasant ordinances, brutal violations of common sense and common decency. It doesn't take a reasonably bright boy long to discover that most of what is rammed into him is nonsense, and that no one really cares very much whether he learns it or not.
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-H. L. Mencken
Emotions
Engrave this Quote The evidence of the emotions, save in cases where it has strong objective support, is really no evidence at all, for every recognizable emotion has its opposite, and if one points one way then another points the other way. Thus the familiar argument that there is an instinctive desire for immortality, and that this desire proves it to be a fact, becomes puerile when it is recalled that there is also a powerful and widespread fear of annihilation, and that this fear, on the same principle proves that there is nothing beyond the grave. Such childish proofs are typically theological, and they remain theological even when they are adduced by men who like to flatter themselves by believing that they are scientific gents...
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-H. L. Mencken
Envy / Jealousy
Engrave this Quote Jealousy is the theory that some other fellow has just as little taste.
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-H. L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy, ch. 30, p. 619, Knopf (1949)
Evolution
Engrave this Quote It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.
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-H. L. Mencken
Faith
Engrave this Quote Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
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-H. L. Mencken
Fame
Engrave this Quote A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
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-H. L. Mencken
Family
Engrave this Quote Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.
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-H. L. Mencken
Farming
Engrave this Quote No one hates his job so heartily as a farmer.
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-H. L. Mencken
Film / Filmmaking / Movies
Engrave this Quote The movies today are too rich to have any room for genuine artists. They produce a few passable craftsmen, but no artists. Can you imagine a Beethoven making $100, 000 a year?
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-H. L. Mencken
Freedom
Engrave this Quote We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.
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-H. L. Mencken
Gentlemen
Engrave this Quote A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.
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-H. L. Mencken
God
Engrave this Quote God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos: He will set them above their betters.
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-H. L. Mencken

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