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Golf
Engrave this Quote If I had my way, no man guilty of golf would be eligible to any office of trust under the United States.
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-H. L. Mencken
Gossip
Engrave this Quote The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be indignant about them.
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-H. L. Mencken
Government
Engrave this Quote Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man. There has never been a really good one, and even those that are most tolerable are arbitrary, cruel, grasping and unintelligent.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote The legislature, like the executive, has ceased to be even the creature of the people: it is the creature of pressure groups, and most of them, it must be manifest, are of dubious wisdom and even more dubious honesty. Laws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion; they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner. The typical lawmaker of today is a man wholly devoid of principle
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-H. L. Mencken, The Library
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-H. L. Mencken
Heart
Engrave this Quote As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
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-H. L. Mencken
Heroes/Heroism
Engrave this Quote In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.
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-H. L. Mencken
History
Engrave this Quote Historian -- an unsuccessful novelist.
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-H. L. Mencken
Honor
Engrave this Quote Honor is simply the morality of superior men.
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-H. L. Mencken
Humanity
Engrave this Quote Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.
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-H. L. Mencken
Hygiene
Engrave this Quote Hygiene is the corruption of medicine by morality. It is impossible to find a hygienist who does not debase his theory of the healthful with a theory of the virtuous. The true aim of medicine is not to make men virtuous; it is to safeguard and rescue them from the consequences of their vices.
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-H. L. Mencken
Imagination
Engrave this Quote It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. If such a board actually exists it operates precisely like the board of a corporation that is losing money.
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-H. L. Mencken
Infidelity
Engrave this Quote Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
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-H. L. Mencken
Innovation
Engrave this Quote A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.
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-H. L. Mencken
Justice
Engrave this Quote Injustice is relatively easy to bear what stings is justice.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote JUDGE, n: A law student who marks his own papers.
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-H. L. Mencken
Kisses
Engrave this Quote When women kiss it always reminds one of prize-fighters shaking hands.
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-H. L. Mencken
Knowledge
Engrave this Quote For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
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-H. L. Mencken
Laughter
Engrave this Quote One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent.
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-H. L. Mencken
Law
Engrave this Quote Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
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-H. L. Mencken
Laziness
Engrave this Quote There is nothing worse than an idle hour, with no occupation offering. People who have many such hours are simply animals waiting docilely for death. We all come to that state soon or late. It is the curse of senility.
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-H. L. Mencken
Liberty
Engrave this Quote I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.
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-H. L. Mencken

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