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Regret & Remorse
Engrave this Quote Remorse is regret that one waited so long to do it.
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-H. L. Mencken
Religion
Engrave this Quote The truth is, as every one knows, that the great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable. No virtuous man -- that is, virtuous in the Y.M.C.A. sense -- has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony worth hearing, or a book worth reading, and it is highly improbable that the thing has ever been done by a virtuous woman.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote A nun, at best, is only half a woman, just as a priest is only half a man.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote All the political seers and sorcerers seem to be agreed that the coming Presidential campaign will be full of bitterness, and that most of it will be caused by religion. I count Prohibition as a part of religion, for it has surely become so in the United States. The Prohibitionists, seeing all their other arguments destroyed by the logic of events, have fallen back upon the mystical doctrine that God is somehow on their side, and that opposing them thus takes on the character of blasphemy.
http://www.mencken.org/text/txt001/elliott.leo.1998.mencken-01.htm
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-H. L. Mencken, The Impending Combat, May 28, 1928
Engrave this Quote Archbishop -- A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote The time must come inevitably when mankind shall surmount the imbecility of religion, as it has surmounted the imbecility of religion's ally, magic. It is impossible to imagine this world being really civilized so long as so much nonsense survives. In even its highest forms religion embraces concepts that run counter to all common sense. It can be defended only by making assumptions and adopting rules of logic that are never heard of in any other field of human thinking.
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-H. L. Mencken, Minority Report, H. L. Mencken's Notebooks, Knopf, 1956 300
Engrave this Quote We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
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-H. L. Mencken
Rest, Leisure
Engrave this Quote The idea that leisure is of value in itself is only conditionally true. The average man simply spends his leisure as a dog spends it. His recreations are all puerile, and the time supposed to benefit him really only stupefies him.
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-H. L. Mencken
Safety
Engrave this Quote The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
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-H. L. Mencken
Self Respect
Engrave this Quote Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
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-H. L. Mencken
Solutions
Engrave this Quote The fact that I have no remedy for all the sorrows of the world is no reason for my accepting yours. It simply supports the strong probability that yours is a fake.
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-H. L. Mencken
Speeches (oratory)
Engrave this Quote Before a man speaks, it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks it is seldom necessary to assume.
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-H. L. Mencken
Suffering
Engrave this Quote How little it takes to make life unbearable: a pebble in the shoe, a cockroach in the spaghetti, a woman's laugh.
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-H. L. Mencken
Taxation
Engrave this Quote Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
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-H. L. Mencken
Teaching
Engrave this Quote The truth is that the average schoolmaster, on all the lower levels, is and always must be essentially and next door to an idiot, for how can one imagine an intelligent man engaging in so puerile an avocation?
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-H. L. Mencken
Temptation
Engrave this Quote Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
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-H. L. Mencken
Thanksgiving
Engrave this Quote Thanksgiving Day is a day devoted by persons with inflammatory rheumatism to thanking a loving Father that it is not hydrophobia.
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-H. L. Mencken
Time
Engrave this Quote Time stays, we go.
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-H. L. Mencken
Trust
Engrave this Quote If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.
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-H. L. Mencken
Truth
Engrave this Quote I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
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-H. L. Mencken
Engrave this Quote It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
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-H. L. Mencken
Universe, The
Engrave this Quote To sum up: 1. The cosmos is a gigantic fly-wheel making 10, 000 revolutions a minute. 2. Man is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it. 3. Religion is the theory that the wheel was designed and set spinning to give him the ride.
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-H. L. Mencken

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