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Absence
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Failing to be there when a man wants her is a woman's greatest sin, except to be there when he doesn't want her.
-Helen Rowland
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Conscience
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What a man calls his conscience is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.
-Helen Rowland
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Criticism
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When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.
-Helen Rowland
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Deception/Lying
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Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.
-Helen Rowland
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Divorce
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Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
-Helen Rowland
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When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't understand one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
-Helen Rowland
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France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are made in America.
-Helen Rowland
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Father
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A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
-Helen Rowland
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Flattery
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To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is misunderstood or that he is different; none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more that merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.
-Helen Rowland
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Home
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Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.
-Helen Rowland
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Infidelity
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One man's folly is often another man's wife.
-Helen Rowland
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Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature -- and another woman to help him forget them.
-Helen Rowland
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Love
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Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common-sense.
-Helen Rowland
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Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.
-Helen Rowland
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It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.
-Helen Rowland
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Marriage
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A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
-Helen Rowland
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After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.
-Helen Rowland
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Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.
-Helen Rowland
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Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.
-Helen Rowland
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Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.
-Helen Rowland
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When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one.
-Helen Rowland
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A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-Helen Rowland
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When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-Helen Rowland
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Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.
-Helen Rowland
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No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a Master of Arts and a Doctor of Philosophy after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.
-Helen Rowland
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Books by and about Helen Rowland