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America
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America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.
-John Barrymore
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Argument & Debate
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My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.
-John Barrymore
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Death
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Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
-John Barrymore
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Debt / Borrow / Loan
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If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.
-John Barrymore
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Divorce
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You never know how short a month is until you pay alimony.
-John Barrymore
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Food
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I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.
-John Barrymore
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Happiness
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Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn
-John Barrymore
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Life
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A man must pay the fiddler, in my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra often had to be subsidized.
-John Barrymore
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The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.
-John Barrymore
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Love
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Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
-John Barrymore
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Marriage
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I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.
-John Barrymore
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Money
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Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?
-John Barrymore
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Poetry
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I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.
-John Barrymore
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Regret & Remorse
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A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
-John Barrymore
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Relationships
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In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.
-John Barrymore
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Relatives
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My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.
-John Barrymore
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Sex
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Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
-John Barrymore
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