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Promises and Pye-Crusts, are made to be broken.
-Jonathan Swift
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Advice
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We are so fond on one another because our ailments are the same.
-Jonathan Swift
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Age
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The latter part of a wise person's life is occupied with curing the follies, prejudices and false opinions they contracted earlier.
-Jonathan Swift
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No wise man ever wished to be younger.
-Jonathan Swift
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Every one desires to live long, but no one would be old.
-Jonathan Swift
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Alcohol/Alcoholism
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Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.
-Jonathan Swift
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Ambition
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Ambition often puts Men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same position with creeping.
-Jonathan Swift
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Ancestry, Ancestors
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In church your grandsire cut his throat; to do the job too long he tarried: he should have had my hearty vote to cut his throat before he married.
-Jonathan Swift
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Argument & Debate
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Argument, as usually managed, is the worst sort of conversation, as in books it is generally the worst sort of reading.
-Jonathan Swift
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Authors & Writing
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O Grub Street! how do I bemoan thee, whose graceless children scorn to own thee! . Yet thou hast greater cause to be ashamed of them, than they of thee.
-Jonathan Swift
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Style may defined as the proper words in the proper places.
-Jonathan Swift
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Belief
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The most positive men are the most credulous.
-Jonathan Swift
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The lack of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be overcome.
-Jonathan Swift
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Bread
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I wont quarrel with my bread and butter.
-Jonathan Swift, Polite Conversation. Dialogue i.
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Censorship
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Censure is the tax a man pays to the public for being eminent.
-Jonathan Swift
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Charity
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Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches to conceive how others can be in want.
-Jonathan Swift
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Children
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I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child, well nursed, is at a year old, a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout.
-Jonathan Swift
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Coffee (or Tea)
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Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.
-Jonathan Swift
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Conservation
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And he gave it for his opinion, that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.
-Jonathan Swift
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Conversation
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One of the very best rules of conversation is to never, say anything which any of the company wish had been left unsaid.
-Jonathan Swift
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Death
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It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by providence as an evil to mankind.
-Jonathan Swift
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Discovery
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For the rest,
Whatever we have got has been by infinite labor, and search, and ranging through every corner of nature; the difference is that instead of dirt and poison, we have rather chosen to fill our hives with honey and wax, thus furnishing mankind with the two noblest of things, which are sweetness and light.
-Jonathan Swift
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Doctors
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The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.
-Jonathan Swift
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Enemy, Enemies
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One enemy can do more hurt than ten friends can do good.
-Jonathan Swift
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Exaggeration
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Pretense is the overrating of any kind of knowledge we pretend to.
-Jonathan Swift
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Books by and about Jonathan Swift