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Ability
It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious.
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Kin Hubbard
Action(s)
You won't skid if you stay in a rut.
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Appearance
Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.
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Argument & Debate
The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
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Beauty
Beauty is only skin deep, but it's a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense.
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Conservatism
Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
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Conversation
Why doesn't the fellow who says, I'm no speechmaker let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration?
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Kin Hubbard
Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
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Death
My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.
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Deception/Lying
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
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Driving
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
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Entertainment
The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
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Fate & Destiny
Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
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Food
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
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Forgiveness
Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.
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Greatness & Great Things
After a fellow gets famous it does not take long for someone to bob up that used to sit next to him in school.
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Guests
Making a long stay short is a great aid to popularity.
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Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
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Habits
Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.
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Happiness
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
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Home
The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.
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Inheritance
It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it.
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Justice
Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.
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Kindness
Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.
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Laziness
Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.
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