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Advice
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Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least.
-Lord Chesterfield
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In matters of religion and matrimony I never give any advice; because I will not have anybody's torments in this world or the next laid to my charge.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Age
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The heart never grows better by age; I fear rather worse, always harder. A young liar will be an old one, and a young knave will only be a greater knave as he grows older.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Ancestry, Ancestors
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Good breeding is the result of good sense, some good nature, and a little self-denial for the sake of others.
-Lord Chesterfield
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The scholar without good breeding is a nitpicker; the philosopher a cynic; the soldier a brute and everyone else disagreeable.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Assumptions
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The world can doubtless never be well known by theory: practice is absolutely necessary; but surely it is of great use to a young man, before he sets out for that country, full of mazes, windings, and turnings, to have at least a general map of it, made by some experienced traveler.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Belief
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Men will not believe because they will not broaden their minds.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Books
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Speak of the moderns without contempt, and of the ancients without idolatry.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Business
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No man tastes pleasures truly, who does not earn them by previous business; and few people do business well, who do nothing else.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Character
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Be your character what it will, it will be known; and nobody will take it upon your word.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Character must be kept bright as well as clean.
-Lord Chesterfield
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You must look into people, as well as at them.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Company, Companions
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For my own part, I would rather be in company with a dead man than with an absent one; for if the dead man gives me no pleasure, at least he shows me no contempt; whereas the absent one, silently indeed, but very plainly, tells me that he does not think me worth his attention.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Conformity & Nonconformity
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Take the tone of the company you are in.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Control
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Firmness of purpose is one of the most necessary sinews of character, and one of the best instruments of success. Without it genius wastes its efforts in a maze of inconsistencies.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Conversation
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Never hold anyone by the button or the hand in order to be heard out; for if people are unwilling to hear you, you had better hold your tongue than them.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Dance, Dancing
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Custom has made dancing sometimes necessary for a young man; therefore mind it while you learn it, that you may learn to do it well, and not be ridiculous, though in a ridiculous act.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Divorce
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The only solid and lasting peace between a man and his wife is, doubtless, a separation.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Ego
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Our own self-love draws a thick veil between us and our faults.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Enemy, Enemies
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Let your enemies be disarmed by the gentleness of your manner, but at the same time let them feel, the steadiness of your resentment.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Experience
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There is a sort of veteran woman of condition, who, having lived always in the grand monde, and having possibly had some gallantries, together with the experience of five and twenty or thirty years, form a young fellow better than all the rules that can be given him. Wherever you go, make some of those women your friends; which a very little matter will do. Ask their advice, tell them your doubts or difficulties as to your behavior; but take great care not to drop one word of their experience; for experience implies age, and the suspicion of age, no woman, let her be ever so old, ever forgives.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Failure
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Honest error is to be pitied, not ridiculed.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Fashion
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When a person is in fashion, all they do is right.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Any affectation whatsoever in dress implies, in my mind, a flaw in the understanding.
-Lord Chesterfield
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The difference between a man of sense and a fop is that the fop values himself upon his dress; and the man of sense laughs at it, at the same time he knows he must not neglect it.
-Lord Chesterfield
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Books by and about Lord Chesterfield