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Certainty
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Education is the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
-Mark Twain
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Change
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We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.
-Mark Twain, Mark Twain at Your Fingertips
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Character
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To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his time, not ours.
-Mark Twain
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Children
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There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
-Mark Twain
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Civilization
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Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
-Mark Twain
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Coffee (or Tea)
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After a few months' acquaintance with European coffee, one's mind weakens, and his faith with it, and he begins to wonder if the rich beverage of home, with its clotted layer of yellow cream on top of it, is not a mere dream after all, and a thing which never existed.
-Mark Twain, 1880
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Commitment
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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
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Conformity & Nonconformity
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.
-Mark Twain
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We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
-Mark Twain
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Congress
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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress; but I repeat myself.
http://www.twainquotes.com/Congress.html
-Mark Twain, Mark Twain, a Biography
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Conservatism
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Loyalty to petrified opinions never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world -- and never will.
-Mark Twain
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The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.
-Mark Twain
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The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.
-Mark Twain
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Consistency
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What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who changes. Since change is the law of his being, he cannot be consistent if he stick in a rut.
-Mark Twain
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Consumerism
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Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.
-Mark Twain
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Conversation
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It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
-Mark Twain
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A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.
-Mark Twain
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Cowardice/Weakness
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The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession, but carrying a banner.
-Mark Twain
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There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
-Mark Twain
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Creation
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Why was the human race created? Or at least why wasn't something creditable created in place of it? God had His opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit this grotesque folly -- a lark which must have cost Him a regret or two when He came to think it over and observe effects.
-Mark Twain
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Creativity
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Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
-Mark Twain
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Credit
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Beautiful credit! The foundation of modern society. Who shall say that this is not the golden age of mutual trust, of unlimited reliance upon human promises? That is a peculiar condition of society which enables a whole nation to instantly recognize point and meaning in the familiar newspaper anecdote, which puts into the mouth of a distinguished speculator in lands and mines this remark: -- I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two millions of dollars.
-Mark Twain
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Crime
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A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
-Mark Twain
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Criticism
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The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
-Mark Twain
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Customer Service / Sales
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Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
-Mark Twain
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Books by and about Mark Twain