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Justice
Engrave this Quote A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
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-Mark Twain
Engrave this Quote We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read.
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-Mark Twain
Knowledge
Engrave this Quote We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that a savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter.
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-Mark Twain
Engrave this Quote The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so.
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-Mark Twain
Engrave this Quote Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
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-Mark Twain
Engrave this Quote A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
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-Mark Twain
Engrave this Quote Familiarity breeds contempt; and children.
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-Mark Twain
Language
Engrave this Quote There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!
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-Mark Twain
Laughter
Engrave this Quote The human race has but one really affective weapon, and that is laughter.
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-Mark Twain
Engrave this Quote Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
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-Mark Twain
Engrave this Quote Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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-Mark Twain
Engrave this Quote Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon
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-Mark Twain, The Mysterious Stranger, ch. 10, 1916
Law
Engrave this Quote To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.
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-Mark Twain
Learning
Engrave this Quote Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.
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-Mark Twain
Engrave this Quote Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you.
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-Mark Twain
Legacy
Engrave this Quote Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
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-Mark Twain
Engrave this Quote There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
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-Mark Twain
Life
Engrave this Quote Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thought that is forever flowing through one's head.
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-Mark Twain
Engrave this Quote Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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-Mark Twain
Engrave this Quote A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; they scramble for little mean advantages over each other; age creeps upon them; infirmities follow; ...those they love are taken from them, and the joy of life is turned to aching grief. It comes at last--the only unpoisoned gift earth ever had for them--and they vanish from a world where they were of no consequence, ...a world which will lament them a day and forget them forever.
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-Mark Twain, Chapters from My Autobiography, III Ch. VI, 1906
Loneliness
Engrave this Quote There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought --a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
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-Mark Twain
Loss
Engrave this Quote Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size.
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-Mark Twain
Mankind, Man
Engrave this Quote The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
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-Mark Twain, What Is Man?
Manners
Engrave this Quote The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, of ungraceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish lying.
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-Mark Twain
Marriage
Engrave this Quote Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.
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-Mark Twain

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