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Advice
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I always advise people never to give advice.
-P. G. [Sir Pelham Grenville] Wodehouse
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Books
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My only objection to the custom of giving books as Christmas presents is perhaps the selfish one that it encourages and keeps in the game a number of writers who would be far better employed if they abandoned the pen and took to work.
http://wodehouse.ru/tt171201.htm
-P. G. [Sir Pelham Grenville] Wodehouse, Just What I Wanted, 1915
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Criticism
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Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
-P. G. [Sir Pelham Grenville] Wodehouse, "New York Mirror", May 27, 1955
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Divorce
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Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.
-P. G. [Sir Pelham Grenville] Wodehouse
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Excuses
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It is good rule in life to never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
-P. G. [Sir Pelham Grenville] Wodehouse
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Fashion
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He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say when!
-P. G. [Sir Pelham Grenville] Wodehouse
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Flowers
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Flowers are happy things.
-P. G. [Sir Pelham Grenville] Wodehouse
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Golf
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Golf...is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and plays his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.
-P. G. [Sir Pelham Grenville] Wodehouse
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Marriage
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Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.
-P. G. [Sir Pelham Grenville] Wodehouse
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Books by and about P. G. [Sir Pelham Grenville] Wodehouse