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Age
Engrave this Quote As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.
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-Robert Benchley
America
Engrave this Quote For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
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-Robert Benchley, Benchley -- or Else!
Engrave this Quote In America there are two classes of travel: first class and with childen.
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-Robert Benchley
Argument & Debate
Engrave this Quote Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about
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-Robert Benchley
Attitude
Engrave this Quote We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born. We are constantly remarking on the fact that things are done well by people other than ourselves. The Japanese are a remarkable little people, we say, as if we were doing them a favor. He is an Arab, but you ought to hear him play the zither. Why but?
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-Robert Benchley, Isn't It Remarkable?
Authors & Writing
Engrave this Quote It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I coudn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
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-Robert Benchley
Engrave this Quote The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
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-Robert Benchley
Engrave this Quote It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up, because by that time I was too famous.
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-Robert Benchley
Engrave this Quote The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.
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-Robert Benchley
Books
Engrave this Quote The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life which does not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest.
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-Robert Benchley
Communication
Engrave this Quote Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
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-Robert Benchley, As quoted in: With Truth as Our Sword (2005) by C E Sylvester, p. 205
Dogs
Engrave this Quote A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
Another version:
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
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-Robert Benchley
Engrave this Quote Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that a child cannot do much harm one way or another.
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-Robert Benchley
Drinking
Engrave this Quote Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with it's just compounding the felony.
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-Robert Benchley
Engrave this Quote I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
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-Robert Benchley
Exercise
Engrave this Quote Go jogging? What, and get hit by a meteor?
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-Robert Benchley
Fear
Engrave this Quote Tell us your phobias, and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
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-Robert Benchley
Knowledge
Engrave this Quote I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
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-Robert Benchley
Memory
Engrave this Quote Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.
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-Robert Benchley
People
Engrave this Quote There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.
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-Robert Benchley
Pleasure
Engrave this Quote I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures.
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-Robert Benchley, Hiccoughing Makes Us Fat, No Poems: or around the world backwards and sideways., 1932
Quotations
Engrave this Quote The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
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-Robert Benchley
Work
Engrave this Quote Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
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-Robert Benchley

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