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Communication
Engrave this Quote The worst thing about the miracle of modern communications is the Pavlovian pressure it places upon everyone to communicate whenever a bell rings.
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-Russell Baker, No Cause for Pain, "Times (London)", November 28, 1991
Economics
Engrave this Quote It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.
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-Russell Baker
Goals
Engrave this Quote The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.
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-Russell Baker
Happiness
Engrave this Quote Happiness is a small and unworthy goal for something as big and fancy as a whole lifetime, and should be taken in small doses.
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-Russell Baker
Life
Engrave this Quote Life is always walking up to us and saying, 'Come on in, the living's fine,' and what do we do? Back off and take its picture.
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-Russell Baker
Machiavellianism
Engrave this Quote Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.
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-Russell Baker
Media
Engrave this Quote Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity.
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-Russell Baker, The Good Times, 1989
Moon
Engrave this Quote So there he is at last. Man on the moon. The poor magnificent bungler! He can't even get to the office without undergoing the agonies of the damned, but give him a little metal, a few chemicals, some wire and twenty or thirty billion dollars and, vroom! there he is, up on a rock a quarter of a million miles up in the sky.
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-Russell Baker
Poetry
Engrave this Quote I gave up on new poetry myself thirty years ago, when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens on a hostile world.
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-Russell Baker
Things, Little Things
Engrave this Quote Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories -- those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
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-Russell Baker
Tradition
Engrave this Quote In America nothing dies easier than tradition.
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-Russell Baker, "New York Times", May 14, 1991

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