Quotation Matches:
 
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Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
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Billy: Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.
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Huggy Bear: I believe it was said: To err is human, to forgive is divine. Hutch: Ha! What idiot said that? Huggy Bear: I believe it was God - the greatest mack of all.
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(no category)
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If the law supposes that, said Mr. Bumble, the law is a assa idiot. If thats the eye of the law, the law is a bachelor; and the worst I wish the law is that his eye may be opened by experienceby experience.
-Charles Dickens
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The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes we had brought from the wilds of America. They observed that we talked loudly at table sometimes. They noticed that we looked out for expenses and got what we conveniently could out of a franc, and wondered where in the mischief we came from. In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.
-Mark Twain
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Actors, Acting
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Acting is the perfect idiot's profession.
-Katharine Hepburn
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Business
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Frankly, I don't want to see a rapid upturn. I want it to hold until some of these idiotic competitors go bust.
-Joe Bamford
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Computers
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
-Dave Barry
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Congress
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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress; but I repeat myself.
http://www.twainquotes.com/Congress.html
-Mark Twain, Mark Twain, a Biography
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Culture
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We are in the process of creating what deserves to be called the idiot culture. Not an idiot sub-culture, which every society has bubbling beneath the surface and which can provide harmless fun; but the culture itself. For the first time, the weird and the stupid and the coarse are becoming our cultural norm, even our cultural ideal.
-Carl Bernstein
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Cynicism
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What arouses the indignation of the honest satirist is not, unless the man is a prig, the fact that people in positions of power or influence behave idiotically, or even that they behave wickedly. It is that they conspire successfully to impose upon the public a picture of themselves as so very sagacious, honest and well-intentioned.
-Claud Cockburn
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Democracy
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I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.
-H. L. Mencken
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Discipline
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Reasonable orders are easy enough to obey; it is capricious, bureaucratic or plain idiotic demands that form the habit of discipline.
-Barbara Tuchman
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Education
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Education is a crutch with which the foolish attack the wise to prove that they are not idiots.
-Karl Kraus
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I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be built up on the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think.
-Anne Sullivan
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
-Mark Twain
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Entertainment
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I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.
-Steve Martin
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Equality
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Between persons of equal income there is no social distinction except the distinction of merit. Money is nothing: character, conduct, and capacity are everything. There would be great people and ordinary people and little people, but the great would always be those who had done great things, and never the idiots whose mothers had spoiled them and whose fathers had left them a hundred thousand a year; and the little would be persons of small minds and mean characters, and not poor persons who had never had a chance. That is why idiots are always in favor of inequality of income (their only chance of eminence), and the really great in favor of equality.
-George Bernard Shaw
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Fame
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The majority of pop stars are complete idiots in every respect.
-Marquis De Sade
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Fools, Foolishness
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When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
-Cynthia Heimel
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Why is it that wherever I go, the resident idiot heads straight for me?
-Gwynn Thomas
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Generalize, Generalizations
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To generalize is to be an idiot. To particularize is the alone distinction of merit. General knowledge are those knowledge that idiots possess.
-William Blake
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Genius
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We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later.
-Louis Aragon
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Government
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But their determination to banish fools foundered ultimately in the installation of absolute idiots.
-Basil Bunting
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The law is sic a ass - a idiot.
-Charles Dickens, Oliver Twist
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Habits
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If an idiot were to tell you the same story every day for a year, you would end by believing it.
-Horace Mann
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Health
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Any idiot can face a crisis, it's the day to day living that wears you out.
-Anton Chekhov
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Humility
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Of all the idiots I have met in my life, and the Lord knows they have not been few or little, I think that I have been the biggest.
-Isak Dinesen
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Nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed in enterprises we have failed in.
-Gustave Flaubert
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Ignorance & Stupidity
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A man profits more by the sight of an idiot than by the orations of the learned.
-Arabic Proverb
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There is no one thoroughly despicable. We cannot descend much lower than an idiot; and an idiot has some advantages over a wise man.
-William Hazlitt
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Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.
-Walter Kerr
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Imitation
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Man is an idiot. He doesn't know how to do anything without copying, without imitating, without plagiarizing, without aping. It might even have been that man invented generation by coitus after seeing the grasshopper copulate.
-Augusto Roa Bastos
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Life
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Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act V Scene V
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Loss
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Show me a good loser and I'll show you an idiot.
-Leo Durocher
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Memory
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Memory is not wisdom; idiots can by rote repeat volumes. Yet what is wisdom without memory?
-Martin Tupper
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Men & Women
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The main difference between men and woman is that men are lunatics and woman are idiots.
-Rebecca West
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Mother
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Only in America do these peasants, our mothers, get their hair dyed platinum at the age of sixty, and walk up and down Collins Avenue in Florida in pedal pushers and mink stoles -- and with opinions on every subject under the sun. It isn't their fault they were given a gift like speech -- look, if cows could talk, they would say things just as idiotic.
-Philip Roth
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Music
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I resent performing for frisking idiots who don't know anything.
-John Lennon
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Rock 'n Roll is an asylum for emotional idiots.
-Richard Neville
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Observation
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
-George Carlin
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Passion
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Passion makes idiots of the cleverest men, and makes the biggest idiots clever.
-Fran
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People
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We have no higher life that is really apart from other people. It is by imagining them that our personality is built up; to be without the power of imagining them is to be a low-grade idiot.
-Charles Horton Cooley
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Poetry
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The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot.
-Salvador Dali
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Poker
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Because people have no thoughts to deal in, they deal cards, and try and win one another's money. Idiots!
-Arthur Schopenhauer
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Politics
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Bush Sr. was a jerk, Quayle an idiot, Clinton was atrocious and disgusting, most of those who persecuted him were hypocritical, Gore is shallow and weak, Bradley is an idealist, Bush Jr. a fool, and all of the independent candidates act like they're on drugs.
-David Borenstein, On the politics of the 1990's
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Professionalism
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No man can be a pure specialist without being in the strict sense an idiot.
-George Bernard Shaw
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Satisfaction
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The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own.
-W. S. Gilbert
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Seasons
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April comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers.
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
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Sex
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Any idiot can get laid when they're famous. That's easy. It's getting laid when you're not famous that takes some talent.
-Kevin Bacon
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Teaching
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The truth is that the average schoolmaster, on all the lower levels, is and always must be essentially and next door to an idiot, for how can one imagine an intelligent man engaging in so puerile an avocation?
-H. L. Mencken
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Theater
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The virtue of dress rehearsals is that they are a free show for a select group of artists and friends of the author, and where for one unique evening the audience is almost expurgated of idiots.
-Alfred Jarry
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Time
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While time, the endless idiot, runs screaming round the world.
-Carson Mccullers
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Understanding
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What is grand is necessarily obscure to weak men. That which can be made explicit to the idiot is not worth my care.
-William Blake
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Women
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Every so often, I turn on the television and see one of the movement leaders being asked some idiot question like,
-Nora Ephron, Crazy Salad, ch. 5, 1972
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