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What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.
-Anon.
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Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk?
-Anon.
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The Next Computer: The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe.
-Anon.
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Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.
-Anon.
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If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
-Anon.
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Intel has announced its next chip: the Repentium.
-Anon.
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Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
-Anon.
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All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
-Anon.
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Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window.
-Anon.
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If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation...?
-Anon.
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Where the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1 1/2 tons.
-Anon., "Popular Mechanics", March, 1949
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At the dictation of a mathematician, it will solve in a matter of hours equations never before solved because of their intricacy and the enormous time and personnel which would be required to work them out on ordinary office calculators.
-Anon.
New York Times, 1944
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The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armor to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second- rate technology, led them into it in the first place.
-Douglas Adams
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At the present time there exist problems beyond our ability to solve, not because of theoretical difficulties, but because of insufficient means of mechanical computation.
-Howard Aiken
Proposed Automatic Calculating Machine, 1937
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The desire to economize time and mental effort in arithmetical computations, and to eliminate human liability to error is probably as old as the science of arithmetic itself.
-Howard Aiken
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Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
-Isaac Asimov
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I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them.
-Isaac Asimov
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One of the most feared expressions in modern times is The computer is down
-Norman Augustine
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Electronic aids, particularly domestic computers, will help the inner migration, the opting out of reality. Reality is no longer going to be the stuff out there, but the stuff inside your head. It's going to be commercial and nasty at the same time.
-J. G. Ballard
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I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
-Dave Barry
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
-Dave Barry
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The sad thing about artificial intelligence is that it lacks artifice and therefore intelligence.
-Jean Baudrillard
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Computer science only indicates the retrospective omnipotence of our technologies. In other words, an infinite capacity to process data (but only data -- i.e. the already given) and in no sense a new vision. With that science, we are entering an era of exhaustivity, which is also an era of exhaustion.
-Jean Baudrillard
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The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
-Nathaniel Borenstein
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Silicon Valley is like a person running around in front of a steamroller. You can outrun the steamroller on any given day. But if you ever sit down you get squashed.
-Bob Boschert
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Books about Computers
